I would like everyone to believe I am a perfect parent, but what good would that be to anyone? I blog because I want to remember these years. I notice that I have been a little heavy on the gushing. So, to make it clear that our lives are not perfect, I present the following.I'm afraid I may not be putting in the parenting hours,
because the results are not too impressive, of late.
They may look innocent enough, but some thoughts never leave my mind.
Will they ever stop lying?
Do they learn eventually to want to clean up their messes?
I want cake for dinner, why wouldn't they?
When on earth will they realize that they are all talking to me at the same time?
Spring is great for kid allergies. Can anyone say snot shower?
Speaking of snot...oh never mind.
When I am on the phone ( which is not that often) why do they get hysterical about needing a toothpick??
Is it really so hard to brush your teeth that you are willing to, eat toothpaste and wet the brush, in an attempt to seem like you did? How much time and energy are we really saving here??
How is it that you suddenly have an appetite for dinner the minute bed time is announced. What makes you think I will feed you dinner in bed, for that matter??
If I find one more string cheese wrapper stuffed between the sofa cushions, I am going to make them pay!!
The biggest and most important question...Will they ever learn to aim?????
I considered a picture of the atrocity that is my bathrooms,
but decided against it, (and this is with twice a day cleanings, mind you...)
Instead,
I will try to focus on how snazzy they look in their ties.
But truly, If I could choose between honesty and aim, I very well might consider aim.
6 comments:
You Rock!!! That's the best post I've seen tonight!!
Put cheerios in the toilet for target practice. That's how my mother-in-law taught her boys.
-Sara Ricks
that was good times, sis. it reminded me of how i walked in on boys at the daycare i worked at -- they were seeing who could squirt the highest on the wall. oh the horror of it all. so glad i could send those brats home with their poor frazzled mothers, leaving the dirty work to the janitors. i used to scoff at a friend who taught her boy it was fine to just pee outside, but maybe she was onto something.
the best one is the toothbrush. the level of trickery employed here far surpasses the level of energy needed to just brush the damn teeth. i don't get it.
i heard a parent in the office today telling the secretary that his kid was going to take the bus home today with the prestwich boy. i wanted to make some snarky remark so bad, but i refrained. people don't always get me. sometimes it's best to leave it alone.
That was hilarious! I have to say having one girl and two boys that boys are much grosser. I don't know why but they are. Yes, the lying. I am glad to know my kids aren't the only ones. It drives me crazy. And when gabe turned 5 he decided he was big enough to pee standing up. I always had him sit down to avoid the mess. It was a sad day for me.
Hilarious! You crack me up!
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