Pop! Goes the weasel

I love my kids as much a a mother could, but honestly, if they keep going
in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out,
someone is gonna pay.

Here are the reasons why I can't handle it one more minute.
* every time they re-enter the house, I know they are tracking in some sort of filth
* entering means they want something
* they want to take something back outside to leave on my lawn and forget about until the sprinklers come on-at such time I will dart out too late and get showered in my pajamas for all the neighborhood to see
* The want food-which means dishes...crumbs...counter wipedowns...and eventually more people looking for what the first person got
*More work for my air conditioner--$$
* either the door slamming constantly wakes the toddler, or if he is already awake, he wants to join them, in which case, I have to go play " let's fly to grandma's house" in the heat


*the door never gets shut, and the neighborhood can see into my immaculate house, filling them with jealousy, making it that much harder for me to find someone to water my plants when I am out of town
*flies come in--and I only have so many quarters to pay my children to kill them
*They are bringing in some insect, mud covered rock, weed, dead bird, or neighborhood child
* they need to use the bathroom--and if they actually come in to do so, it is in a hurry and they miss the bowl entirely
*Last, but most importantly, when they present themselves for me to care for, I have to get up from my nap/television watching/cookie eating/book reading to attend to them--and let's be honest, that is no life to live. Am I right, or am I right???