In spite of me wanting to punch some bully in the neck...

So Jackson had a rough night the other night. I peeked into my room ( he was sleeping in my bed that night(because we had company(which was delightful(for another post)))) and I snugged up next to him only to notice a drop of tear on his cheek. The poor dear was quietly crying. When this child cries it is entirely heartbreaking. He does so with a slight quiver and pursed, smidge of a mouth. As soon as anyone notices he's upset, he quickly blubbers out an apology for his sadness and says he's fine. *sigh* The darling is in first grade. He's trying so hard to keep it together all the time, but sometimes the cares of the world creep into his soft little heart.

I wrapped his small frame into my arms and he buried his head into my chest. I could melt. I waited for him to explain. He's struggling with being the smallest child in his class. Concern wets my own face, as I attempt to tell him he is loved. What else does a mother say? Lucky for me his father happened upon us and had the sweetest words of reassurance. "I've been there. I grew. So will you. Find friends who treat you with kindness and don't give any thought to the ones who don't."

Jackson sucked in his breath and dried his tears. With an affectionate head rub, David moved on. Jackson glanced over to me, squeezed the last drop down his freckled cheek. Just before he closed his eyes to sleep, he asked if I would stay a little longer.

As he settled in, I slipped out of that bed with a lump in my throat. I can't fathom the idea of this boy suffering disappointment. A realization that he will have challenges I will not be able to take away washed over me. Then, a very unexpected thought entered my mind. I was suddenly overcome with gratitude. At that instant, the long hours cleaning and folding load after load, the bills to be paid, the lessons to be planned and the schedules to be arranged, the meals to be cooked, held such little value. The moments we spend, in the midst of struggles, and the joys between hold so much value. I now realize struggles these children endure will make them better people. My sweet Jackson will learn from this experience, and knowing his strength, he will emerge better equipped to deal with more pressing challenges. Despite all this, I will do my best to cherish the aching, albeit fleeting moments he actually does fit in my arms. I guess I'm officially a mother now.